Darkness: Your Best Teacher
As I’m writing this, I’m in Texas in the middle of nowhere. In order to get any service, I have to stand on top of the bathroom sink. (Don’t judge me) I’ve never been a country girl, but the peace and serenity that encases this piece of farmland is absolutely beautiful. I stepped outside to the sound of birds singing and a woodpecker keeping rhythm on a tree nearby. And the stars. The numerous amount of stars dotted against the blackness of the sky is breathtaking. It’s so dark. I’m used to living in suburban or city areas, with street lights at every corner and buildings with fluorescent lights everywhere you turn. Pure darkness is not an option. (Unless you choose to wear one of those sleeping masks and look ridiculous. I’m guilty)
And why should it be? Darkness is scary. But out here, there's no running from it. The dark emotions: depression, anger, grief, despair, fear. We're told these kind of emotions should be suppressed. Showing these emotions too often is supposedly a sign of weakness. I know personally when I am dealing with a dark emotion, my first reaction is to shove it out of the way.
Bury it deep down inside of me and I will never even know it's there. You are supposed to handle your emotions and move on sooner rather than later. This mindset has left us with a low tolerance for the dark emotions. We are choosing to refuse to realize that our emotions are there to teach us, to build character, and to serve a purpose. We don't give ourselves time to sit with them. The inability to bear the emotions, not the fact that they are there, is what causes them to be dark. When I stopped trying to block my sadness and allowed them to motivate me instead, it led me to a bridge which helped me over that difficult time in my life.
The way to deal with painful emotions is to sit with them, to accept them. Dark emotions do not sink a person. The energy needed to avoid them will tear you down.
Allow the Dark to teach you. Accept the Dark.